Warm shower

You know when you were a little kid at the park on a vacation afternoon, and you felt like you had no energy left in your body? You were done with that exhausting day, but then your mom picked you up and told you: “We’re going home, take a shower, and tonight, you’ll feel brand new.” That exhaustion and lack of energy were what I felt at the end of the year, and I believe life is trying to show me that, after a warm shower of healthy habits and mental occupation, I can feel brand new again.

I will finish writing my first book this year and start my writing community. Those two things will be my warm shower—they will drive me to regain control of my life and rediscover my personality, which I left behind with the new adult responsibilities.

The situation is this: I was struggling throughout the past year because I couldn’t be myself. I was so absorbed by the tasks and challenges of adult life—consumed by my lack of time organization and exhausted from work—that I didn’t notice the days slipping by. All I wanted was to be the best version of myself—or at least be more myself. I believe this is something that happens to everyone, after all. What frustrates me most is my inner, genuine desire to be extraordinary at what I do.

The motivated, dreamy child who wasn’t afraid to explore challenges and work late kept wondering every day last year: What had happened to her? Where was the motivation to be extraordinary? Where was the dream of moving to the big city, having an important role in the writing business, or writing a book? Where was she?

That leads me to what makes my mind soar and light up with joy—the dream of changing people’s lives through words. I am a reader, passionate about everything books have done for me: they’ve given me dreams, hope, life perspectives, and the ability to think critically. Why can’t I follow my passion and be extraordinary again?

I began writing this story when I was thirteen—a fantasy story with a peculiar character and a magical setting. I was so happy back then, imagining little plots, developing my characters’ personalities, and visualizing how I could share messages through my book, just as many authors did for me. They created my personality, shaped my beliefs, and reinforced the importance of reading and words in a single life. I wanted to do the same. I want to do the same.

I do not want to control people or manipulate their purposes or beliefs. I want to give them different perspectives and thoughts. I want to give them the opportunity to think critically, even when reading a fictional story because that is the power of communication. This year, I will restart my book project and launch my reading and writing community.

Last year, I wrote for only a couple of months but made some progress writing articles. My book, however, was put aside; I wasn’t even able to finish the first part. This year, I’ve created a night routine for the days I work: writing for two to three hours depending on the flow. I’ll dedicate even more hours on my days off, depending on my consistency.

For my online community, I want to publish more articles in the mornings. I’ll also reactivate my book’s Instagram page and create writing and reading groups where people can discuss books, share visions, and celebrate their passions in real life.

I am so thirsty to finally pour my time into these projects and reconnect with who I am. Reconnect with my inner child with big dreams and determination. We need to learn of not being afraid of that.

Last year was not all bad, though. I spent a lot of time with my family, creating delightful memories with my boyfriend and friends. These moments guided me through the year and gave me the energy to hold onto my dreams. They were my emotional and mental healing—so important for finding the motivation to start again.

Being able to start from scratch or restart an important goal can be really difficult, external factors can drain us up and distract us from what we are and what we are looking to construct in our lives. But you need to remind yourself daily who you are, and why you are, to keep going, being persistent, being extraordinary one day or even ordinary in another, but just being yourself, spending time with yourself, investing time in yourself. This is what I see from the years I left my projects behind. We, easily distracted creatures, need reminders of our purposes in life, our passions and dreams, to get back on track and construct whatever we need to make us happy, to make dreams real.

Writing has always been a way to connect with myself. Writing is for me my way of connecting with my soul, my values, my imagination and my thoughts. Words have always been a kind, safe place for me, a place for discoveries that affected and still affect me in so many ways. Ever since I was a little girl, I enjoyed telling my favorite existing stories and then imagining my own, turning them into pretend play. I remember writing “movies” to play with my cousins, developing little plots and characters of what we would do when we were playing. This same writing will lead me to finally being able to be the author I want to be, to create this community, and to achieve what I need to.

In the end, after an overwhelming day or year, all we need is a warm shower and some reflection to resume our activities and feel alive and energetic again. Maybe even someone to be this “mom” bridging us back to the present after we are feeling exhausted and drained. What matters is always coming back to what you call feeling alive, feeling rest, feeling healed. And all this brings you back to being yourself.